


If Only

by RubyWaterz23



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst, Demon Sex, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 02:44:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5030635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyWaterz23/pseuds/RubyWaterz23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A modern AU. Rin is a boy but it doesn't stop Sesshomaru from feeling drawn to him still. When a war wages and they get entangled in the middle can these two survive? Or will Rin's rare illness get between them first? GuyxGuy, please give it a chance</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing on this website so please bare with me. This is a yaoi so if you do not like that sort of thing stop reading now. There will be lots of fluff and sex heh heh ~
> 
> I do not own any of the Inuyasha characters, or Inuyasha. Only the plot is my own.

Chapter one

Kagura and Sesshomaru walked together down the tiled halls of the campus' second floor, which was considerably more empty than that of the first floor at this time, approximately 1:10 in the afternoon. The 'happy couple' were linked arm-in-arm, although Sesshomaru's could be said to be less actively involved as it just hung by his side, any effort being Kagura's.

"There's to be a new student starting in the clay modeling class." Kagura leaned in on his arm as she spoke squeezing her rather plump breast against his arm in, what he could only guess, to be an attempt to capture his attention. He neither encouraged her attempts nor did he advise her to stop; they were engaged to be married, strung together by their parents. While Sesshomaru saw benefits a marriage to Kagura, in turn her family, could bring him, he felt nothing close to the romantic since towards her. Even in bed, though he had no trouble becoming aroused, it was nothing more than instinctual.

"So?" Sesshomaru questioned while looking onwards.

Though the semester was coming to a close in less then thirty days it wasn't quite so odd for students to transfer in around this time.

"Well he's a freshman, and apparently he's got some real talent." Sesshomaru wanted nothing more than to sigh and shrug her off. He hated when she gossiped about in his ear like a nat, he had no interest in such things nor would he ever. However Kagura got a kick out of weaseling information out of the board and what few professors would actually speak to her, most professors wouldn't speak a word for fear of her father and brother.

"He might just be the one to finally mold a sculpture of you!" Kagura exclaimed seeming a bit irritated by Sesshomaru's lack of interest.

This time he really did sigh, for the last year Kagura was constantly bringing up her desire to have a sculpted mold of Sesshomaru as a wedding present. Her own father has offered on many occasions to have one made up, the only problem being he hasn't agreed to sit for one yet. The only 'modeling' Sesshomaru has agreed upon was to sit for the advance clay molding class, but he neither of them have yet to see anyone with enough talent to procure up a proper piece.

Sesshomaru was growing quite impatient with Kagura meddling into such things, but this time he'd have no choice but to endure her nagging for he was scheduled to stand for the sketches in five minutes time. The only reason he had agreed to such a thing as standing in one position for nearly an hour at a time was because it was giving him some peace of mind lately from the ever persistent Kagura. He did his best to tone out her voice the rest of the way toward the average sized room that advance clay moldings was held every other day.

Upon entering the room in the same fashion as always, letting Kagura proceed first in a show of respect, it took no time to weed out the new freshmen from the group of students he saw three or four times a week these last few months. The kid was seated in the far back corner of the room by the large sliding window, sketchbook in hand, eyes locked on the clouds. His raven black hair a little long hanging an inch or two beyond his ears, however Sesshomaru's own silvery locks reached below the middle of his back when not tied in a pony tail, as it was now so he was not one to comment. The kid's skin looked a little on the pale side for a human, Sesshomaru knew without a doubt that the kid was a human just by the smell of the room. However, Sesshomaru could focus on none of his previous observations as the kid's head slowly turned his chocolate orbs locking with Sesshomaru's golden eyes as a group of the girls in the room giggled excitedly as they always did when he entered the room. For the short seconds that their eyes locked Sesshomaru thought he saw something within those dark chocolate-y orbs, but he their connection was broken as the kid quickly looked away a slight pink tint staining his cheeks.

"I had no clue you would be the model today!" one of the girls exclaimed as she and her friends approached Kagura and he, leaving their chairs and sketchbooks behind.

"I was told you have a new, rather talented student." Kagura ignored their blushing stares as always only holding on ever tighter to his arm in a show that she was the only one Sesshomaru let touch him in such a way. Her eyes landed on the kid in the back that Sesshomaru had not taken his gaze off quite yet, enjoying how the boy was trying hard not to make eye contact.

Sesshomaru knew he had a reputation around campus, and he was he strongest demon in this area-excluding his father; however he had never seen anyone react to his like this. And yet, he sensed something about this freshmen that was quite different then the others.

The girls glanced back to the topic of conversation as one lifted her hand and waved the kid over. He set down his sketchbook on the long table against the windowed wall before walking over, with what Sesshomaru might call grace. It was nothing like the kind of walk he himself might show, but the kids steps were so light and soundless he almost seemed to float over. He stopped just a little away from were the group of girls had huddled in front of Sesshomaru.

"Well?" The girl who called him over asked annoyingly, she was obviously displeased by Sesshomaru and Kagura's interest in the kid.

"Rin. My name is Rin." Sesshomaru stared into the eyes that would not look at him back, the kid's voice was rather soft- almost hushed as though he were whispering- but not out of shyness. Nevertheless the tone pleased his sensitive ears greatly.

Sesshomaru opened his mouth to give one of his famously short 'I don't care' greetings, but Rin held up his hand and darted his eyes to he left slightly.

"I-I already know who you are so there is no point in stating the obvious.." the room grew awkwardly silent as almost everyone in the whole room gawked at Rin's rudeness to possibly the richest, most popular man on campus. However, Sesshomaru had to contain the grin that almost took over his whole face. Rin bravely looked up at Sesshomaru, locking eyes once again, he swore he saw the same emotion from before boil in the kid's eyes for a long moment before it simmered down to a closed door.

"You want to see my talent?" Rin asked seemingly confused by the situation. Perhaps he knew not of his own proclaimed talent.

"That is why I am here." Sesshomaru's voice rumbled out a little sharply, making a few of the girls in front and the ones still sitting down to grin or giggle. However the smile he saw on Rin's face as he quickly turned around to head back to his window seat' as the other girls ran grabbing up their larger sketchbooks in preparation, was quite different then the others'.

Sesshomaru fallowed behind as the girls set their chairs and easels around the wooden 'stage' towards the front of the room, Rin dragging his chair to the far side as well. He stepped into the center of the platform and turned his back as he began to unbutton the white long sleeve collared shirt he was wearing. As he slowly unbuttoned from top to bottom sliding the high quality cotton off his shoulders, all the girls gasped for he had never modeled shirtless before. It was sure to get a rise out of the girls, which he was uninterested in, but a shirtless statue-more like naked statue- is what Kagura would want. Sesshomaru turned towards the group seated in front of him, the handful left were huddled in the back working on another project of their own, for each and every one of them to see his bare, well muscled chest. Kagura's face grew red with rage while most of he girls grew red with embarrassment; however, it was Rin's face he found that he wanted to see most.

Sesshomaru moved only his eyes to find Rin staring straight at his bare chest, although it wasn't the same shy-but-hungry look the girls were shooting him. He felt as if those brown orbs were silently inspecting him, though there seemed a sadness within that look that cut through Sesshomaru's heart. He forced himself to look away as Rin set up his own easel, or else he might find himself human enough to care.

As the group in front began sketching, he stood still and took his pose watching as Kagura walked behind all six of them to sit down in a chair as well, so that she could monitor their sketching progress to see whose would be best. Sesshomaru watched, without moving his head, as the girls each frequently picked up their rubber erasers to rub away whatever mistakes they were making while their eyes darted from him then back to the page. He had watched them so often act this way that he never recognized it as low talent until his eyes fell once again at Rin, who never once picked up an eraser-Sesshomaru was sure there wasn't even one on the lead pencil he was using. Nor did Rin look up as frequently from his page at Sesshomaru, but when he did the piercing look his eyes held as he took his time to wander over Sesshomaru's bare chest, he could almost swear he felt Rin's hands exploring him. When he let his eyes go back to the paper, as his pale, steady hand sketched patiently, it was as though he was drawing something from his memory and not the Sesshomaru standing before him. They took a break only once after fifteen minutes to let the sketchers stretch out their fingers- the break is initially to give the model a chance to relax but Sesshomaru needed it not. The girls took this chance to take a 'closer look' at the bare chested Sesshomaru for arts sake, but luckily none of them had the courage to actually touch him. However, Rin remained seated not even looking over at Sesshomaru as he smoothed the lines that he had already drawn; looking so contently at the picture, seemly -to Sesshomaru- eyes that should only be held for a lover. Those soft chocolate eyes stirred something up inside Sesshomaru,- jealousy, desire?- both confused and angered him slightly.

After almost another thirty minute session for the girls to finish up their sketches, Kagura left her seat and came up to closely inspect their art work. She was very picky about art and now especially when it came to Sesshomaru, it had to be perfect. She glared at all of them being a little harsh with her reviews but the girls seemed to pay no mind as none of them ever even liked Kagura, and she had no art skill what so ever. However Kagura stopped mid step as she laid eyes on Rin's which had been hidden from view as he was sketching before. Her face quickly darted between the drawing and the still shirtless Sesshomaru with what was first happy surprise, but as Sesshomaru watched her look at it longer there seemed to be jealousy that crossed her face.

The girls decided to walk over and have a look themselves, most of them gasped and immediately complimented it or asked if they could have it.

Sesshomaru had settled himself on never seeing any of the sketches that were drawn up for him, but now he had resigned himself to see this 'incredible masterpiece' as one of the girls had muttered in awe. It was only a sketch, surely it couldn't be that great, he thought to himself.

As he approached the easel, stepping off the platform Rin backed out of his chair a hint of panic on his face. It was too late now, Sesshomaru had to see what had impressed the impressionable Kagura. He froze, actually froze as his eyes landed on the white sheet of paper. It was absolutely stunning, perfectly drawn with soft pencil strokes, smooth on paper. His silvery hair drawn strand by strand, his broad shoulders rounded with toned muscle, the purple markings which lined his whole body showing his lineage; Rin even managed to draw the little white scar he had on the upper left side of his rib cage- which not even Kagura would have noticed-. Nothing was more breath-taking, however, then he noticed the look that had been drawn on his face- mainly in the eyes. It was almost...lustful, and the perfectly drawn orbs were staring at what would be Rin. Surely Sesshomaru wasn't looking at Rin with such a look, although he couldn't deny he was strangely intrigued by the kid.

Sesshomaru tore his eyes away from the sketch and looked up at Rin who had backed himself against the window frame twisting his hands together nervously, his cheeks only slightly pink against his pale skin.

"I'm impressed." Sesshomaru spoke before he could think of his words carefully, but it wasn't like he cared. Rin seemed surprised by the praise then relaxed a moment before a smile over took his face. A toothy wide grin that filled his eyes with true happiness, almost willing Sesshomaru to smile back. Kagura cleared her throat, stopping what ever moment they were having that momentarily brought his cold heart to life.

"You don't mind if I take this?" Kagura said as she reached out and ripped the paper from the spiral binding clutching it tightly in her hands crinkling the paper and ruining it completely. Sesshomaru wanted to sigh at her immaturity, she was constantly acting like a spoiled child and he was growing to loath her for it. He shifted his eyes ready to see anger in the kid's face, which would not have been misplaced, but was stunned to see only intense hurt there instead. As if Kagura had ripped out a piece of his heart instead of a drawing.

"Go ahead." Sarcasm was clearly riddled in his voice but Sesshomaru could still see the pain as those brown orbs watched as Kagura balled it up further and shoved it in her bag as she stormed out of the room.

Sesshomaru gave a short goodbye sending a glance over his shoulder at Rin before he fallowed her out of the room.

xXx

Rin waited until everyone had packed their things away after the final bell until he began grabbing up his own things to head down for lunch. He stood in front of the easel staring at the blank page that sat behind his once drawing of Sesshomaru, that had been taken from him not but ten minutes go. He sighed longingly as he reached out a shaky hand to touch the sheet of white.

It was true that he had a hundred more pictures of Sesshomaru to admire hidden away in this very sketch book and at home, but that had been the first time he had ever draw the dog demon in such a likeness. His heart was still racing.

When had his simple crush turned into this obsession? It wasn't as though he went around stalking Sesshomaru, but he did sit in far off corners when he could sketching the man. Just quick profile views from the courtyard, or the occasional chance he got to look at him longer then just a few seconds. Most of the sketches were from shoulder up however, so this was a dream come true for Rin to sketch his whole body-shirtless no less. And now it was balled up in a 'witches' bag.

Sesshomaru was the whole reason Rin transfered into this class. There was a rumor Kagura was forcing girls to sketch Sesshomaru for a project or something, and Rin desperately wanted the chance to sketch him. Though he never thought Sesshomaru would acknowledge him, no less compliment his work. In the last few months that Rin had been watching Sesshomaru, even in some of his day dreams, he never thought for one second that he'd ever actually share anything with Sesshomaru.

He sighed unsure of what emotion to be as he grabbed up his sketchbook and left the empty room. Dodging the few people that were in the halls he left down the back staircase to the first floor then out to the back courtyard where he and his only friend would always share lunch together.

Kagome and he had been friends since high school, and although she had friends of her own she always had time for Rin. He never cared that he had no other friends, he wasn't really the type to want many friends.

Rin sat on the bench where they had made their spot for 'afternoon talk' as Kagome called it, though it was 2:00 in the afternoon and classes were soon coming to a close. Kagome appeared a few minutes later, with that smile she always had on. She had been extremely happy ever since she started dating the half-demon Inuyasha back in high school. It was actually through this relationship Rin had spotted Sesshomaru the year before- which began his crush-.

"Hey, how is the new class?" She asked cheerfully placing a separate bentobox in his lap, she said she enjoyed making him lunches because she always had leftovers.

"Sesshomaru was there.." Rin couldn't meet Kagome's eyes, he was too embarrassed and excited at the same time. "And he modeled shirtless." Rin could be himself around Kagome, she'd known he was gay from their first year of friendship when he came out to her.

Her jaw dropped as she stared at him surprised. Kagome had encouraged Rin to join the class saying he had enough talent to out-due those jerks, but neither were really sure if the rumor about Sesshomaru was true. After all he wasn't technically a student at this college.

"Holy crap." Kagome was shocked only for a moment. "But thats great for you right?!" Rin blushed and nodded slightly. "Is that the normal way he models?" She asked opening her lunch and digging in. Rin shook his head in reply doing the same. By the way the girls had reacted-one even dropping her pencil at the sight of shirtless Sesshomaru- it was the first time.

"He said he was 'impressed' with my sketch." Rin could hardly contain his happiness. Rarely did he ever let anyone see his sketches, and to have he man himself see it and be impressed brought him great joy, enough for a life time.

Kagome, too much food in her mouth to say anything, squealed in excitement. She knew almost as much as Rin did about the guy, for although Inuyasha was his brother they didn't get along well. Still she cheered on Rin no matter what Inuyasha said about Sesshomaru.

"Can I see it?" Kagome asked once she had swallowed, but Rin shook his head solemnly telling her how Kagura had balled it up and taken it. Kagome spat out a curse for the women, who she didn't like anyway for other reasons, and sighed patting Rin on the shoulder.

Sesshomaru was walking towards the far exit of the building with a group of demons, not as highly ranked as he, that he had plans with for the rest of the evening. Mostly business things. As he looked out the window to the courtyard most no one used he spotted the raven haired boy once again. He almost didn't see that there was a girl sitting rather close to him smiling at him.

As the group continued on one of the girls tailed behind waiting for Sesshomaru, he had always known she was fond of him though she never said which, he respected her for. She tilted her head at him. "You okay?"

Sesshomaru looked at her then motioned his head out to Rin. "You know who that is?" He cared not to elaborate on his question as to which of the two he spoke of, either information would be well enough. He got this terrible rage in his lower gut waiting for the words to be said that the two were dating. Why he suddenly cared or not was beyond himself, but he did nonetheless.

"Thats Kagome, your brother's girlfriend. Surely you two have met." The girl giggled a little but he paid no attention to it as a sort of relief washed over him. Possessive emotions were not good to have, but he wasn't attempting to deny them. Something about Rin was different, and perhaps he'd let it pique his interest for a while.

xXx

The next day Sesshomaru wasn't even on campus for he was only forced to model every other day in Kagura's desperate search for a good artist, so it wasn't until Friday that he was back on the collage campus. No thanks, to other things that for the moment rank higher in importance, that he was late, but it was also because he was tired of hearing Kagura whine about how much she hated Rin. It all just sounded like misplaced jealousy to him though.

He knew there shouldn't, or wouldn't be anyone in the classroom this late in the afternoon, so he was walking the halls to where he knew some of the girls from the class would be.

The cafeteria was, for some reason, a good spot for girls to hang out and gossip. Most of the time he would catch Kagura there hanging around some of her less likable friends. As he walked the main hall heading in that direction most of the students moved out of the way creating a nice little space for him to walk. As he was about to turn the corner he heard Rin's name being spoken behind him. His hearing heightened as he slowed his feet to a stop listening in to see if he had heard correctly.

Sesshomaru couldn't quite catch all of what they were saying but it was obvious by what he heard they were using him as the butt of their jokes. Suddenly enraged he turned around and crossed his arms calling out to the group of girls he didn't recognize.

They turned around gasping in excitement to see Sesshomaru, the 'prince' as they called him of campus.

"Y-yes Sesshomaru-sama?" All the girls from his 'fan club'- which he only knew about thanks to Kagura's gossiping- referred to him as such. Though honestly he wasn't too bothered.

"You were talking of Rin?" He knew not of the kid's last name but seeing as they knew him well enough to joke about him he was sure they understood. The girl in the back rolled her eyes and 'tsked' obviously annoyed by the name. Sesshomaru was surprised there were still such people in collage, he was sure immaturity as such stopped in high school.

"You're looking for him because he's the one sketching you right?" The girl who had spoken first stepped closer to him still smiling. Kagura had been talking again, but at least she was smart enough to see no one other than Rin would be skilled enough to do such. Sesshomaru didn't reply but only raised his eyebrow luring them in to say more.

"Well you should be careful," the girl giggled. "He's gay so he's sure to target you." The whole group burst out laughing. Sesshomaru showed it not but he was actually surprised. He had noticed Rin was different in a sense but he hadn't even thought about him being gay. It seemed so obvious now, and hearing the girls laugh at Rin in such a way was really starting to piss him off.

Not wanting to be around them anymore he started to turn, he'd find the girls from the clay molding class and speak to them. However another began talking, not directly at him per-say.

"I heard back at his high school he stalked a teacher so badly that he had to quit and Rin was transfered to another school." A few more giggles took place as they said a few more jokes at Rin's expense and Sesshomaru had to leave before he became violent towards the girls.

His step was a little faster as he headed toward the cafeteria, and he must have been glaring for everyone was backing away frightened.

Rin had been so disappointed that Sesshomaru hadn't shown up that afternoon. Kagura made it clear that he was supposed to be there, and then when thirty minutes passed she left blaming Rin for his absence which of course made no sense. He and the rest of the class spent their time working on their own things, and when the time for class ended everyone but Rin left. Once he had the room to himself he pulled out a few of his other sketch books and laid them all out on the table as he worked to prefect a few of them. He spent the last two hours doing such, but he had grown hungry. Of course he'd apologize to Kagome later for not showing up for their ritual lunch, but he knew she'd sense something was wrong and he didn't feel like trying to explain his emotions when he wasn't truly sure himself.

Leaving his sketchbooks open on the long table as he exited the room to find a vending machine for a drink and snack. He took his time walking, the halls were pretty empty and most students had gone home. Rin enjoyed silent afternoons like this. His home was quiet too but this is different, it felt better for Rin then a stuffy old shrine.

A water in hand and some crackers he headed back to the open classroom only to be shocked at finding Sesshomaru sitting on the edge of the table flipping through one of his sketchbooks. At first Rin was so stunned by the scene of Sesshomaru sitting in the light of the sun in a black t-shirt and jeans, hair tied up in a pony tail as always engrossed by one of Rin's very own sketchbooks- it was like a dream. Then his heart froze, most of those pictures were of Sesshomaru, and now his secret obsession would be laid before the very man he drew.

"What are you doing?" He blurted the words before he could think.

Sesshomaru's head whipped up at Rin's voice to see a face red with frustration, he almost smiled at seeing him for he'd already been sitting there for a few minutes. He turned back to the sketchbook to flip over the page and see another sketch of himself, this one just as equally well drawn. He was quite surprised to find that most of what Rin was drawing was none other than himself. They were all drawn to perfection as well.

"You draw very well, and your style is unlike what I've seen before." Sesshomaru stated without looking up. True he wasn't big in art anyway so he hadn't seen much to date, but he knew well enough to see that Rin had a unique style to his art.

Rin stomped over and ripped the sketchbook out of Sesshomaru's hands holding it close to his chest as though it were a secret diary. Leaving exposed one of the best sketches in this particular sketch book. It was a profile of Sesshomaru walking through a crowd of people, the strands of silvery hair tied up in the classic pony tail being blown ever so slightly while he walked. Blank figure shapes were drawn in where they were blocking the rest of Sesshomaru, but there was such detail in his face Sesshomaru was blown away just looking at it. It was obvious by now that Rin had feeling for Sesshomaru, and he wanted to get closer to the kid to find out why. As far as he knew the other day was their first meeting.

Rin's face was flustered and red in embarrassment and anger. How dare Sesshomaru pear into his very soul like that, it was completely unfair. All of Rin's secrets were poured into these sketchbooks through art. All his lonely depressed emotions, all the pictures of Sesshomaru being a light through his darkness. Perhaps that was what drew him to like Sesshomaru so much, drawing him all these past few months had been a sort of life boat through Rin's darkest times. It was so unfair he almost felt like crying.

"I wonder why they are all of me..." Sesshomaru's voice was low and deeply sexy it caught Rin off guard. He moved eyes to the sharp amber-golden orbs of Sesshomaru, eyes that could take him away. They stared at each other for a long moment before Rin realized he had spoken. Quickly he darted his eyes elsewhere.

"I-I..." Rin couldn't think up any excuse as his voice came out sounding pathetic and shaky. He took a wobbly step backwards bumping into the table behind him almost knocking himself off balance, but Sesshomaru had stood grabbing a hold of Rin's arm to steady him leaving only a few inches of space between them. Rin could feel Sesshomaru's hot breath on his skin.

"You want me don't you.." It was such a soft whisper he wasn't sure he had heard him correctly. He shot his eyes up into Sesshomaru's wondering in fear if he had thought the words himself.

There was no mistaking the hint of fear in Rin's face, though he didn't understand it Sesshomaru knew he didn't want to scare Rin so he quickly spoke again. "You wish to draw me once more?" Changing his words completely as a small hint that he hoped Rin caught in his dazed looked, the kid only nodded. Sesshomaru had to smirk then, he felt like a cat toying with a mouse, and he couldn't deny that in that moment something deep inside his demonic soul wanted desperately to eat up Rin- in a different sense of the word-.

He steadied Rin before letting go of his arm and stood up straight still smirking down at him. "This time, you'll get a closer look." He knew not why suddenly he got such a thrill off of teasing Rin, but the way those cheeks flared up as he grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt pulling it off over his head and throwing it to the floor behind him, stirred up something deep inside himself.

Rin's eyes grew wide as he stared at a once again shirtless Sesshomaru in all his muscled glory, the purple marks lining his sides and arms. Sesshomaru was possibly the most beautiful specimen Rin had ever seen in his entire life. He had thought this since the moment he first saw Sesshomaru back at Kagome high school gradation.

Rin, Kagome, and Inuyasha had all gone to the same school, and although his last year he had to transfer out he still went to watch Kagome walk across the stage. The three of them had been hanging out while Kagome and Inuyasha were being as cute and couple-ly as always. Inuyasha's parents had come to pick him up, the two of them would be attending a party- which Kagome had invited Rin too but he had declined. The second Sesshomaru stepped out of the limo Rin was stunned into silence, just as he was now.

Rin's hand twitched as he raised it almost as if to touch Sesshomaru, which he was highly expecting he would, Sesshomaru couldn't help but smirk at how cute Rin was. His cheeks flushed pink, him mouth opened slightly as he breathed heavy, his chocolate eyes swirling with a pool of emotion. Rin was so captivating it was irritable. But Sesshomaru was growing inpatient as Rin brought his hand away as if debating on whether he wanted to touch his bare chest or not, Sesshomaru grabbed his wrist and forced his pale hand to touch his strong muscled abs. Though he hadn't expected Rin's hands to be so cold, almost like ice even though it was spring already.

Sesshomaru did his best to appear unaffected as Rin slowly ran the tip of his fingers over every muscle, ever contour of his body. Rin's eyes glazed over with something similar to lust, which nearly undid Sesshomaru. Rin seemed so exotic and forbidden as he ran his hand over his flesh, almost as though he were a wild flower, poison to the touch.

"You are gay.." the words came out before he thought of them, and he immediately regretted it- which was nearly impossible for Sesshomaru. Rin stiffened as his eyes widened and he jerked his hand away clutching it at his side, hurt evident in his eyes as he glanced away. Sesshomaru cursed at himself as pain replaced whatever lustful excitement that had over taken Rin just seconds before.

"You're just making fun on me.." Sesshomaru's jaw twitched as he heard the pain in Rin's voice, now he was no better then those girls, sounding nearly like he was about to cry although his eyes remained dry. He be damned if he let Rin think he was no better then that.

"I'm offering you." He made sure his voice held no hint of mocking in it, instead it came out a seductive rumble. Rin slowly glanced back up at him a little confused but almost hopeful.

"Offering me..what?" Rin bit his lip, which was at that moment the sexiest look Sesshomaru had ever seen, it took all of his strength to not pounce on the kid right then and there.

"Me..." Sesshomaru whispered as he brought his fingers to Rin's chin tilting his head back just a little as he slowly dipped his own head down softly brushing his lips against Rin's for a quick kiss. The sound that escaped Rin's lips the very next second completely undid Sesshomaru.

Sliding his free arm around Rin's waist he pulled him in close as he let his lips sink once more to Rin's soft pink lips that tasted of fruit. His lips lingered their tasting Rin for a few long moments before he ran his tongue over Rin's bottom lip in request to taste his mouth. Sesshomaru nearly smirked as he felt Rin quiver in his arm, he was sure that had he not been holding him he would have buckled.

Rin was so captured by the kiss, while Sesshomaru's tongue slide into his mouth, he didn't notice at first that the man of his dreams had laid him down on the long table and was now hovered over him as they kissed. Rin had never been kissed before, nor did he think he would ever experience something like this in his life time. His heart raced in his chest loudly, so loudly he was sure Sesshomaru could hear it. His shaky hand lifted up and slide over Sesshomaru's bare chest to wrap around the strong muscled neck pulling him closer. Even if this was only a dream and he woke seconds later he would enjoy every second of it.

However it wasn't a dream, and when he began to feel the hard bulge of Sesshomaru's member rub against his own, he knew with a quick whimper of surprise that this was very, very real. Face flushed he chanced a glance up at Sesshomaru who looked just as turned on as the bulge hinted to. Rin attempted to say his name but it only came out as another whimper as his own member twitched against the confines of the pants he wore, begging to be released.

Sesshomaru smirked down at the aroused Rin and slowly began kissing his neck, suckling at the flesh there, sure to leave little red marks that Rin now belonged to him. He ran his hand under the cotton of Rin's shirt and teased the pink nipple that poke up excitedly, earning another soft moan from Rin's sweet mouth. Sesshomaru nearly growled, Rin's voice was the sweetest sound he ever heard, it turned on every nerve in his body and drove him nearly crazy. Slowly his hand slid down the rest of Rin's body and worked at the button of his pants.

Rin's head jerked as he stared a little shocked at Sesshomaru, but he wasn't going to let this be the end of it. Sesshomaru had to taste Rin, all of Rin and he had to have him now. He slid Rin's pants off in one smooth motion and slipped the boxers he wore as well to the ground, leaving the bottom half of his body completely exposed. The erect apart of him twitched in the cool air, Sesshomaru smirked once more as he glanced quickly up at Rin's red face, who was desperately trying to hide his embarrassment.

Sesshomaru quickly dipped his head down and took Rin into his mouth sucking on half of him relentlessly, sparring Rin no graces of ease. Rin's voice grew ever so slightly as he moaned in surprise, Sesshomaru thanked the fact that most the student body had already left. He worked Rin's average sized shaft giving him every pleasure and finding he liked immensely the taste of him, but he wouldn't let him finish this way.

Pulling his away he slipped off his own pants and boxers by passing the eyes of a very pleasure dazed Rin. He sucked on his own fingers and lifted one of Rin's legs over his shoulder as he slowly inserted his finger into Rin's entrance. Rin gasped in surprise as the whole finger slid inside him.

Rin bit his lip as Sesshomaru's finger slowly moved and worked his hole, he gripped the edge of the table not sure what to feel. The sensation was completely different then before, but it wasn't bad or painful. Sesshomaru soon slipped in his other finger, this time Rin could not suppress the moan as he felt incredible pleasure just from his fingers. He closed his eyes and chose to just enjoy what ever it was Sesshomaru would do to him.

It seemed like forever that Sesshomaru was working him with his two fingers as he leaned down and nibbled at Rin's flesh. His whole body was on fire with desire he had never felt before. Slowly Sesshomaru slipped his fingers out and brought the tip of his own member where they had just been. Rin opened his eyes to see the huge throbbing organ that was Sesshomaru's dick. He darted his eyes to Sesshomaru's golden eyes as his own tried to say there was no way it would fit.

"Just relax.." Sesshomaru's voice was smooth and gentle which helped but as he felt him push inside, Rin arched his back and gasped at the pressure. Sesshomaru's mouth quickly covered his own to silence what ever moans of pain or pleasure he might let out as he slowly and gently pushed deeper inside him.

Rin's hands shot up and wrapped around Sesshomaru's chest digging his nails into the flesh of his back, which only drove his sexual desire for the kid higher, but he knew how important it was to take ones time. So he moved only slightly back and forth getting Rin used to his size and the motion. Rin broke the kiss to gasp for air as he drove a little deeper getting a rhythm. Soon Rin was moaning out in pleasure as he thrust inside him.

Gripping at his hips Sesshomaru moved faster, Rin's voice getting louder with each thrust getting close to his climax. Sesshomaru leaned down bitting at the muscle of Rin's shoulder sucking as he thrust deeper into Rin's warmth. Rin's body trembled as he gasped and moaned giving way to release, while Sesshomaru thrust deeper one last time releasing his seed deep inside Rin with his own growl of pleasure which rumbled from within his chest.

They both relaxed and panted while Sesshomaru hovered over Rin.

When Sesshomaru's mind cleared he saw Rin's flushed face as he panted and laid atop a pile of crinkled drawing, a large hickey showing where he had bit the kid. Sesshomaru froze, he had possibly just made the worst mistake, and he had done so without thinking it through. Sesshomaru was always leveled and calm, but Rin had brought something out of him, something that should never come out. Quickly he pulled away from Rin and threw on all his clothes not caring how he looked and left the room in strides, not looking back at Rin.

Rin was frozen still. His eyes wide as he watched Sesshomaru's back in the few seconds it took for him to leave the room. What had just happened? In mere seconds he went from living in a dream and total bliss to utter heart break. He tried to sit up as pain shot down his back while tears ran down his face, his heart was shattered.

THE END


	2. Chapter two: Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you are all to like this one more, I know I was excited to post it. Let me know what you think of it so far.
> 
> I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters. Only the plot.

Chapter two: Truth

Sesshomaru spent the whole weekend sulking in his own way, which meant he spent all his time alone in his condo. Mainly to get away from Kagura and her incessant nagging about his absences on that previous Friday, and he didn't need any reminders of his mistake. To pile on the guilt he was sure he had hurt Rin, just walking away like that. Rin was something special, Sesshomaru had learned that during their passionate tryst on Friday.

He admitted that Rin had intrigued him before that, and the kid was so damn intoxicating that he had acted without thinking-which was very unlike himself- but the moment they kissed he'd felt something completely different.

Sesshomaru stood from his black leather couch where he had been attempting to distract himself from his thoughts by the TV, and walked to the kitchen where he turned on the faucet and splashed his face with cold water. He had to stop thinking about it; no matter what crazy connection he had felt with Rin. No matter how strangely good it had felt to be with Rin, like no other feeling before, and he was absolutely sure that he'd never feel like that again unless it was Rin. Rin had made him feel alive in such a way; Sesshomaru couldn't deny that the moment their lips touched something inside him stirred and became wild.

It was doomed. Any type of relationship Sesshomaru could imagine with Rin was doomed for eternity, and Sesshomaru couldn't afford to be around someone who made him feel so...human. He nearly gaged on the word.

However when Monday came around the seconds ticked by ever so slowly, it was painful. His feet felt heavy with each step he took deeper into the campus where he would surely have to confront Rin. Kagura still insisted that he be the one to sketch and mold Sesshomaru even with all the insults she could conjure up, which was no help in reminders of the mistake he made. At least she was smart enough to see that Rin would be the only one capable of molding a statue of Sesshomaru the way she was wanting.

Kagura had been oddly silent that morning, which he excepted with eternal greatness, however he suspected it had something to do with the frightening glare he was wearing on his face that was masking his internal nervousness. He'd be damned if he let anyone know that something was eating at him. Though she was still lodged on his arm as they opened the door to the room and were greeted by the usual giggles and flirtatious 'hii's.

Sesshomaru had sworn he would do his best to ignore Rin, who he'd suspected would be seated at that same long table where his mind had been wiped of all logical thought; however, when it came time he found his eyes moving to that back corner only to be confused by his absence. It didn't take Kagura long to notice Rin's absence either, she wasn't afraid to show her displeasure.

"Where's Rin?" Kagura sounded absolutely exasperated, so much so Sesshomaru wanted so scoff at her. Why should she be disappointed? He was relieved at first that he wouldn't have to face the consequences of his actions, but his mind instantly became filled with wonder.

The girls looked back and forth at each other, probably confused as to why it was so important that Rin -a freshman- had to be there. Finally one looked Kagura in the eye- a brave act- and said that neither of them had seen Rin all day. Which wasn't too weird a fact as this was the only class they shared together.

"Ugh! You boys are all the same!" Kagura exclaimed her irritation at Sesshomaru and continued asking if any of the girls would happen to know where he might be at this time. Of course neither of them had a proper answer. Sesshomaru wanted to roll his eyes at Kagura for asking without thinking. Rin obviously wasn't the social bird to have many friends, in fact there was probably only one person on campus who might know where Rin is at the moment.

That's when Sesshomaru got the idea. He turned on his heel, preparing to leave the room when Kagura caught the sleeve of his dark blue, tight t-shirt.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kagura seemed about at the end of her rope, and he knew she was ready to blow everything and everyone away with her wind abilities but he couldn't care less.

"If he's not here there isn't any point in my being." Was his reply as he moved his arm out of her grip and with long strides he left the room and went down the hall. He knew he'd get bit in the ass for this later, and probably would get chewed out by his father for abandoning his 'responsibility' but at that moment all he could think about was Rin. Something deep in the pit of his stomach was telling him something happened to Rin, and it wasn't good -definitely his fault-.

Sesshomaru knew not where Kagome's classes were but it was simple enough to walk to the main office and get the class number of where she was at this hour. Headed to the south building first floor he double check the room number and noticed the woman had written her phone number on the back of the note. Sesshomaru crumbled up the piece of paper and threw it to the ground remembering what room to go to he quickened his steps.

Luckily classes were ending, because it might have been quite awkward for Sesshomaru to just walk into her class and command her presence. It would surely spread rumors among the weak minded. But that is exactly what he would have done anyway; however, since they were grabbing their things to leave he decided to wait leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

Kagome was one of the last to exit the room, walking and chatting with one of her human friends. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him however, putting her hand on her hip she furrowed her brow and looked quite angry.

"What do you want?" Her anger was obvious, so Sesshomaru could only guess that Rin had told her what happened. Of course, they hadn't promised each other that they wouldn't tell anyone, but he had thought Rin was the type that would keep something so...important, a secret.

"Where is Rin?" Sesshomaru stayed leaned against the wall to keep himself in control, he didn't want to let even her see that he was letting his emotions get the best of him.

"You need to leave Rin alone, just stay away from him for both of your sakes." Kagome turned to her friend and politely told her she'd meet up with her later and her friend nodded heading down the hall waving goodbye. Kagome stepped out of the way of the door and stood to Sesshomaru's other side. "I don't know what you did to Rin but you need to stop." Her face said the truth, she hadn't been told what happened, which was a bit of a relief for Sesshomaru. But he wasn't through here.

"If that's how he feels let him tell me himself." Sesshomaru dropped his hands by his side standing straight getting a little more than frustrated with everything. He wanted his answers and he hated people getting in between him and his business, which was Rin at the moment.

"Well I'm not telling you where he is so that's not happening." Kagome crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows in a sort of challenge. One that would be no problem for Sesshomaru, he had enough power and many feared him enough to give him any information he asked. He saw no point to continue this conversation, so he stepped by Kagome heading back towards the main office.

"I'll just get his address and go see him myself." Kagome quickly grabbed his arm, earning a server glare from Sesshomaru -he was getting sick of girls grabbing him in such a fashion. His brain immediately thought of how he craved Rin's touch again, which only pissed him off even more.

"You can't do that!" Kagome sounded a little desperate so he chose not to punish her for touching his arm. Her eyes fell a little, looking guilty for a reason he didn't understand. "He's not there."

"Then. Where. Is. He?" Sesshomaru was seriously tired of playing these games. His voice must have gave away his frustration as Kagome quickly took her hand off his arm and looked almost scared for a moment. Then she sighed.

"You got a car?" Sesshomaru just looked at her like she was the worlds biggest idiot, of course he had a car -he had many in fact. "You drive, I'll tell you where." Kagome started heading to the exit. Sesshomaru hesitated for a second but chose to fallow her nevertheless. He needed his answers.

Once he caught up to her he led the way through the parking lots to his small, sleek red car -one of the many he had back at his father's house- pulling his keys out of his pocket and unlocking it from a distance. Sesshomaru got in on the driver side without bothering to open the door for Kagome as he might have out of obligation for Kagura. Once she got in the car he was ready to start up the engine, but stopped and glanced at her.

"I'm not leaving until you give me the destination." Kagome sighed as if she was hoping to avoid the subject.

"Reds Hospital." Her words were whispered, and they chilled him to his very core. He froze holding his keys in his hand. His mind immediately began racing.

"The hospital?" Sesshomaru's voice betrayed him, actually showing his surprise, which shocked Kagome as well. "He didn't try to..." the words crept out his mouth before he could stop them and logically think about everything, but he was too damn worried. Rin was changing him in way to many ways.

Kagome's surprise was instantly swept away by her anger.

"How dare you! Rin isn't like that! He would never be that selfish." She sounded offended on Rin's behalf, but her words drifted off as she thought a moment. Silence filled between them for a few long seconds as he revved up the car and pulled out of the parking lot driving onto the main street towards the hospital. He knew Rin wasn't that weak but after what Sesshomaru had done to him he wasn't sure; he wouldn't have blamed him for trying to hurt himself. Instead he tried to focus on the road. The hospital was forty minutes away, but with his driving he could cut that time in half.

A few minutes of silence went by with neither of them wanting to talk to the other, when Kagome broke the silence.

"What did you do to him?" She paused, but not long enough for him to give an answer if he even wanted to. "Rin didn't tell anyone a damn thing..." Sesshomaru wondered if Rin was the type to open up to others. "And you're the only who could have hurt him like that." Kagome glared at him after that and he glanced at her than looked back to the road as he passed through a few of the cars that were going to slow for his likely. Perhaps she did know Rin better than he thought, she did seem like his only friend. And it was obvious through all of Rin's art work that he thought about Sesshomaru frequently. It was still odd to think that someone could like him that much for no reason.

"Is he okay?" He completely ignored her question and was only answered with her own silence as she looked back to the road more than likely doing it just to spite him. The rest of the ride was quite as he pressed harder on the gas wanting to hurry this along. He parked as close as he could to the entrance as Kagome led the way through the glass sliding doors. She walked right past the front desk woman and headed straight to the elevator, which he thought only people with power as he had were brave enough to do something like such- or a regular patient- but he didn't want to think about that.

She waited until he was in the elevator with her before she clicked the proper floor out of 8- she touched number 5- if he knew this hospital better he may be able to guess why Rin was here based on floors. But Sesshomaru never paid much attention to such things. He was always concerned with what other business's he would be controlling soon. However, at the moment Rin was the only one who filled his thoughts. As the elevator opened onto the small lobby next to the reception desk Kagome stepped out while Sesshomaru took a longer stride prepared to fallow the surprisingly fast walker, but she was just standing where she had stepped off. He looked back at her a little irritated.

"If you want to go see him you'll have to hear a few things first." Kagome crossed her arms looking like she was about to lecture him on something. He sighed and faced her waiting for her to speak. "Rin will kill me for this, but I think its better that you know. Then maybe we can all just move on with our lives." Sesshomaru raised his eyebrow not liking the way this was headed. Perhaps he had hurt Rin during their tryst, but then surely everyone would have known what had happened right?

"Only two people have ever come to see him when he's here like this- myself and Keade. So don't go bombarding him with questions or whatever you want to say. He's also medicated so if you say anything to hurt him in any way or do anything stupid, I will make sure you regret it with every fiber of your being." Sesshomaru was about to scoff at her threat saying that there was no way a human girl could ever put him in any harm, when her words clicked in his head. Rin had been here before, multiple times? Why on earth would he need to be in a hospital so often. Kagome started walking and he was lost in thought for a moment it took him a few seconds before he fallowed her.

So it wasn't his fault that Rin was here, but then if that was true why was Kagome blaming him? None of this made any sense what so ever, and he was so ready to strangle the truth out of Kagome. And he might have done just that were it not for the fact that they were taking so many turns and lefts he wasn't sure if he could find Rin's room without her.

Finally they made a stop in front of a dull gray sliding door. Kagome held out her hand and told him to wait as if he were a dog, which he might have gotten mad at her for were he not filled with so much dread and other conflicting emotions surrounded by thoughts of Rin. She closed the door and he could hear her muffled voice behind the walls talking to someone. Was it Rin? His head was too clouded to think. Then he noticed on the wall next to the door was a name tag nailed to the concrete. It had Rin's name molded into the metal that was placed plainly on the wall. Why would his name be assigned to one room? Surely he could not need to be here that often...it only stirred even more dread within Sesshomaru that he could feel his brow furrowing but couldn't stop it.

A few seconds later Kagome opened the door and allowed him in. Sesshomaru hesitated a long second. Did he really want to know? Rin had become something special to him in such a short amount of time, but he was sure he would forget all about this if he just put space and time between each other. However he decided it was too late for that and entered the room.

The room itself did not look like a hospital bedroom at all which answered some of his fears being that Rin was here quite frequently. There was a bed in the center which a sleeping Rin laid in, the sheets where a perfect shade of blue that matched the sky, the two tables on either side held large vases full of fresh flowers and a picture frame that he couldn't make out who was in it. An elderly woman was sitting in a chair next to Rin holding his sleeping hand, which had IVs taped to his veins that dripped something into his blood stream.

The old woman looked up at him but didn't make any sort of expression that Sesshomaru could understand, but he assumed that this was Keade that Kagome had mentioned.

"Keade, I have to go meet up with Inuyasha but I'm only a phone call away if anything happens." They both looked up at Sesshomaru, then Kagome smiled sweetly at the older woman. "You can trust him." She kissed the old woman's head then turned her back to glare at Sesshomaru before she quickly dug out her phone and left the room closing the door softly behind her.

Sesshomaru didn't know what to do other that just stand there, about a foot away from the bed Rin was laying in. There was his answer. Rin was sleeping in a hospital, but that didn't tell him what was wrong with the kid. He glanced at the old woman keeping his face stoic.

"Is he okay?"

Keade looked him up and down then chuckled softly. "You're just as he described, personality and all." Sesshomaru raised his eyebrow in question but she motioned him to sit in the chair on the other side of the bed which was leaned up against the wall, about two feet from the bed. He slowly took his seat feeling oddly out of place and nervous.

"Rin...he?.." Sesshomaru for once didn't know what to say, but he felt strangely like he wouldn't be able to keep up a front in front of this older woman.

"Yes. He talks quite often about you." She glanced down at his sleeping face and brushed some of his hair back lovingly. Sesshomaru had to wonder if they were related though Rin looked nothing like her. "Always with a smile on his face too." Just the thought of that shoved an extra knife of guilt through his heart. Why did Rin have to be so pure? He was sure he wouldn't feel nearly as bad. Keade's face quickly became serious as she looked up and met him dead in the eye.

"Kagome says I can trust you, but are you ready to protect Rin the way Kagome and I do?" Sesshomaru wasn't really sure what the hell she was talking about but something in him was willing to do anything for Rin so he nodded. Keade smiled in approval.

"Have you heard of the White Death?" Sesshomaru thought for a long moment then nodded his head just slightly, he could remember the name but nothing specific, as he folded his hands together resting his elbows on his knees fully prepared to listen to every word as he watch Rin sleeping. "It is a fatal illness. Though no one yet knows where it comes from, it reacts differently with most of those who catch it, and there is no cure. Those from he past who have gotten it appear only to be sick with a normal cold, however there are a few major differences. All those in the past who have contracted White Death start getting white patches of flesh all over them, as if all color has left the flesh there." She paused a moment staring at Rin. "The patches slowly grow as time passes. And in extreme cases like Rin's...they experience intense lasting pain that consumes their whole bodies.

"Rin's doctors are referring to them as 'attacks'." Slowly she stood and pulled the blanket from him gently and began unbuttoning the old mans' pajama shirt he was wearing. Sesshomaru had to stand and come closer to see what she was doing. Once the shirt was unbuttoned he was surprised to see small patches of this pure white flesh covering Rin's body here and there. How had he not seen that before? There was also a large, ugly scar covering his chest right down the middle, from his collar bone to just above his belly button.

"Rin's attacks get worse every time." the old woman's eyes clouded over with sadness and she folded his shirt over itself not bothering to button it back up as she sat back down while Sesshomaru remained standing. "Its so horrible to watch him double over in such pain while you can do nothing to ease it." For a moment she seemed lost which gave Sesshomaru time to think about everything she had said. Some of it made a little sense, but how had he not noticed earlier? Surely he wasn't that blinded by his own emotion. Each time she talked he only hated himself more, but he had to hear it all for Rin's sake.

Keade seemed to forget that Sesshomaru was there so he choose to ask something that was still bugging him.

"Was it because of an attack that he's here now?" His voice seem to startle Keade back to reality and she looked at him then took a deep breath.

"Rin didn't say a word to me when he had made it home that night, but it had been pouring rain so I assumed that is was triggered the attack. However.." She leaned over and pulled back the collar slightly to show that the bite mark he had left was still very red and purple on his shoulder. She glanced at Sesshomaru to catch a glimpse of the guilt on his face. "I know what a matting mark looks like, and I know Rin well enough to guess the rest." She paused for a moment getting comfortable in her chair yet again. "I do not blame you. Rin has been pushing himself a little too hard these last few months. I suppose hes trying to make up for lost time, but hes foolish if he thinks he can do everything.." Her voice broke off with sadness and Sesshomaru felt lost again. It was as though there were important parts she was leaving out, but perhaps it was best to hear the details from Rin himself.

"Lost time?" Sesshomaru sat back down in his chair that was propped against the wall feeling like there was still a lot left to be said. Keade looked at him for a long moment.

"He has so many sketches of you hanging in his room." She muttered as often older women did. Sesshomaru almost grinned at that. He didn't doubt Rin to be the type to hide away the best pieces of his private collection. "I've never seen anyone more in love." However his heart froze at that. Love? Surely Rin wasn't in love with him. They barely even knew each other, on a real level at least. No, he couldn't deny that there was a sort of pull there that even he felt, but love? Sesshomaru wasn't even sure he believed in love.

"Rin wont get to live to see the new year."

Her voice pulled him out of his inner panic and his eyes widened. Less than a year? He darted his golden orbs to Keade's brown one, dark with age. She nodded solemnly. He looked at Rin's sleeping face and could only see a future corpse there. Sesshomaru felt like something had just dug out his heart, if he still had after what he did to Rin.

"You seem to be very important to Rin, so I'm entrusting him to you." Keade stood and smiled slightly. "He'll wake up soon, so please be here when he does." Sesshomaru was too shocked at the moment to manage to say anything as he watched the old woman leave the room.

xXx

Rin's mind slowly came into focus out of the deep nothingness sleep he'd been in. His body felt incredibly stiff all over, but usually he never felt to great after a bad attack like that. Although technically he was already okay to leave the hospital they had decided to make him stay a few extra days to make sure he was okay. It felt like an eternity since Friday afternoon, and through Rin's broken heart he was having trouble sleeping so the doctor had been giving him meds to help.

Rin slowly opened his eyes to the same ceiling he had woken up to through out the years. Keade had found him lying half dead in front of the shrine years ago, it was shortly after that they figured out what was wrong with him. He'd been coming here ever since.

He slowly blinked his eyes a few times not feeling so awake quite yet as he stared at the white ceiling tiles. When his eyes began to focus he noticed a figure in his peripheral, and he stiffened. Rin knew that shape and those tones of that man so well he could probably sketch him with his eyes closed. His heart hammered in his chest as he ever so slowly turned his head not wanting to be right about who it was, and yet there he sat. Hands folded tightly as he leaned his elbows on his knees, the muscles of his arm squeezed sexily in the dark blue shirt he was wearing. Rin dreadfully dragged his eyes up to meet with the golden orbs that took his breath away every time.

Rin darted up into a seated position as he stared, shocked, into Sesshomaru's eyes, the expression he saw there was one he thought he'd never see on

the inuyokai's face. Complete concern enveloped his features, from the furrow in his brow to the swirling pool of worry in his eyes, met with the straight line of his lips and the twitch in his jaw. Sesshomaru stared into Rin's eyes with enough emotion to match an over protective 'momma bear'. This wasn't Sesshomaru, Sesshomaru would never look at him like that unless...

Rin eyes widened even more as realization hit him. Keade must have...He suddenly found it hard to breath as tears welled up in his eyes, Rin had to look away. This couldn't be happening. Yes Sesshomaru had broken his heart, but deep inside Rin knew that was for the best. This, having Sesshomaru know everything, was worse. The tears fell like water from his eyes as he tried to hide them.

"I...I-I didn't want you t-to know..." He muttered through gasps of breaths as the tears flowed.

Sesshomaru was at his side the second he saw tears, and the sound of Rin's broken voice and tears hit him just as hard as what Keade had said. He had managed to sit on the edge of the small bed and without thought or hesitation he reached out and turned Rin's face so he could look at him. Rin's big brown eyes were glossed over with tears, Sesshomaru gently wiped away the big drops from his cheek with his thumb but still they fell. Gently, without a word, he pulled Rin into his arms and just held him tightly running a hand through the raven, silky locks-letting him know it was okay to cry-

Honestly Sesshomaru didn't know what to say. Really what do you say to a person who has gone through such pain like Rin? Sesshomaru knew everyone had their demons, and that there were a million cases out there of people who were going to die knowing it and could do nothing. But there Rin was trying his best, and Sesshomaru had only piled on the hurt by abandoning him. He felt like the worst.

"I'm sorry." Was all he could think to say. "Its because of me that you're in here..." Rin's body stiffened and he slowly pushed away just enough so he could see Sesshomaru's face. Those brown pools swirling with surprise. Sesshomaru almost grinned. Yes, that was the first time in many many long years he had said 'sorry' to anyone. Smirking only slightly he cupped Rin's cheek. "It was a mistake." His golden eyes searching Rin's. "However.." The words were just pouring out of his mouth. "I will never regret it as long as I live." And he meant it. The whole weekend he'd been telling himself that he'd regret doing what he did, but somewhere inside him he knew no one would ever make him feel as Rin had and he could never regret such a thing.

Rin's eyes grew wide but then his whole face drowned itself with love, the smile that grew from within his eyes captured Sesshomaru's heart. He knew Keade was right, Rin did love him, and even if he wasn't sure if he believed in love he definitely felt something pulling him towards Rin that he could not fight.

Still cupping his cheek Sesshomaru slowly lowered his head to brush their lips together for a short kiss. Though something in his lower regions called out to feel Rin once more he wouldn't ever rush Rin like that ever again. Not when now he knew Rin's very life was at stake. Sesshomaru tried to force out any negative thoughts.

Rin was so confused but he liked it. He knew this was a side of Sesshomaru that no one in the whole world had ever seen, and maybe not even himself. But he could see it in those golden eyes that Sesshomaru meant every word. And the short kiss they shared was so tender it was enough to send him to the clouds and back. Even before he had noticed how gentle Sesshomaru had been with him, but maybe even then it was obvious that it was Rin's first time. He wasn't about to bring that fact up however, the embarrassment was too much.

When their lips parted all he could do was smile, he had no words and he felt like words would ruin the moment. After all Sesshomaru was sitting practically in front of him with an arm around his waist. Rin never thought he'd be so happy in all his life. Until his stomach growled.

Sesshomaru smiled down at him, a small smile but nonetheless.

"Hungry?" Rin only nodded with red cheeks. Slowly Sesshomaru slipped his arm from around his waist and stood. "I'll go find you something." He patted Rin's head gently then turned to leave the room.

"Sesshomaru?" He paused at Rin's voice, wondering if he had ever heard anything so..perfect-his name on Rin's lips-. He looked over his shoulder at a blushing Rin. "That shirt looks really good on you.." Rin mumbled still red in the face. Sesshomaru smirked and bowed his head in a 'thank you' then left the room to find the cafeteria.


End file.
